Mommy and Porter Play Dates

I have had the most amazing maternity leave.  Thanks to all of you who brought us food in the beginning, came to play, watched the baby so I could sleep, met me for lunch, gave me tips and tricks for breastfeeding in public, walked the dogs, loaned me baby clothes, baby toys, baby bottles, baby bouncers, baby swings, and for all your endless amount of support.  I would not have made it through the last 14 weeks with out you.

My last week is slowly drawing to an end and I am filled with joy when I look back and think of my friends and family over this time.  I have bonded with some of you in a way that I never thought possible, re-connected with some of you that I haven't talked to in years and made new friends that I will have for a lifetime.

When I look back at this time I can't help but smile and think about the new friends that I have made while learning to be a mom.  I started attending a breast feeding support group at St. Joe's Hospital when Porter was three weeks old.  The group meets in a room with lactation specialists from the hospital and they provided me with any and all support a new mom may have when learning to breast feed.  They also have a baby scale that determines how much weight you babe "gained" over the course of the hour feeding. It was very informative and very helpful.

About three weeks after I started attending the group, the most familiar read headed girl walked into the room.  I looked at her, she looked at me, and we started the, "How do I know you game??"  This went on for about 20 minutes, leaving us both perplexed because we knew we knew each other but couldn't figure out how. Finally, out of the blue, I asked her if she went to summer camp as a kid?  Lo and behold we had been on a one week backpacking trip together in 1991!  We realized we had a lot of catching up to do and we met for a walk the next week.

A few weeks later I invited long-lost-friend Katharine and a few other new moms from the support group to another mom's group I had been attending for the last 8 weeks.  This one is held at a yoga studio and is full of babies who are all under 12 weeks.  We sit around and ask each other questions we have about baby development, share sleep stories (or sleepless stories!), talk about baby carriers, fears about going back to work, husband support, boobs, crying, bathing and baby poop.  The class's structure is very open ended and I gained endless amount and information.

Because 5 of us were attending both classes together, between each class, we all started meeting for lunch and occupying our time at Udi's with more talk of babies, boobs, and poop, but did it all while enjoying a good lunch and a glass (sometimes two) of wine!  It's these ladies and these two classes that I may miss most when heading back to work.  I was excited as a kid Wednesday nights knowing that my fun mommy/baby play dates were happening the next day.  Today I left our last class and called my mom in tears because not only do I have to leave my baby in a few days but I have to leave the comfort of my new friends and venture back into reality.  I never thought that I'd say it, but if I could stay home and do laundry, vacuum, and clean bathrooms for the rest of my life--knowing that I could continue to play with Porter and meet mommy friends once a week, I'd do it in a heart beat!

Thank you Nicole (and Otis), Katharine (and Ivy), Alana (and Sammy) and Lis (and Isabella) for helping me to see that I'm doing everything right, for making me laugh and cry and showing me that going back to work won't kill me- it'll only make me a better mommy.  When I look back at this time you'll always hold a special place in my heart.

~Mama Jess

Changes!

My time home with Porter Pie is slowly winding to an end...I officially go back to work in 17 days (March 31) and I'm dreading it.  I cried about it for the first time today and imagine that that'll leave me 17 more days of crying before the dreaded day comes.  Being home these last few months has been an amazing experience.  I have bonded with Porter, studied his every move, can predict what a certain cry means, can soothe him, make him laugh, know what songs make him smile and can make him giggle until my belly aches. I was the first to notice him make a new cooing noise, the first to praise him when he held his head up, the first to read him books, the first to put a toy in his hand and watch him reach for one on his own.  What pains me most about going back to work is that I may miss these firsts.  Will I miss the first time he sits up?  Will I miss the first time he signs his first sign language sign or says his first word?  He is my bud, I can't imagine not looking at his cute little face for 40 hours a week.

The good news is that I only have to work for eight weeks before summer break starts and between Grammy, Pops and Daddy, Porter will be able to spend his days at home with people who love him as much as I do.  I won't have to get him up, get him dressed, pack a bag and cart him out the door to a daycare.  He can lounge in PJs all day if he wants to and can sleep in his own crib. I can kiss him goodbye when I leave for work and can snuggle him the instant I get home in the afternoons.  And starting June 1, we will have three months of non-stop mommy and baby togetherness-- I can't wait!

Mr. Pie is officially 12 weeks old (see above tab- monthly pictures) and some amazing things are starting to change with his development.  In the last five days I have noticed him making different sounds than I've ever heard before--it's almost like he's listening to himself talk.  He also just started reaching for toys and putting them in his mouth.  He's been playing with hanging toys for some time but the phase of putting everything in his mouth is just beginning! He's also drooling like a mad man!  This doesn't necessarily mean that his teeth are coming in just yet, but his mouth is getting ready.  He has officially mastered holding his head up and LOVES to stand on his legs and look at the world around him.  We noticed that he has started looking at the dogs in the past few weeks and now knows that he has two older, hairy bothers who can't wait for him to get bigger so they can play together.

Being home all the time allows me the opportunity to make pictures of Porter all day, every day.  In no particular order, here are some of my faves...

Grabbing for a toy like a big boy!

I think someone's going to keep their baby blues!

(Notice the drooled covered shirt!)

He LOVES bath time!

Seriously Mom, enough pictures already!

Happy baby!

Practicing tummy time isn't so bad when you can hold your head up!

Heart melting...

Cheeks McGee!

One of my favorite parts of the day is getting to pick out his clothes and dress him, just like my very own doll.  I played with dolls until very late in my childhood and this may explain why I enjoyed it so much--making him look absolutely adorable brings me so much joy! If it's a particularly good outfit, I'll be sure to document it so that I will always remember it.  He's so dang cute I could just eat him alive!

Grandma is scheduled to arrive this Saturday from Houston to spend some quality time with the little man and next weekend the three of us are going to pack up and head out on our first family mini-vacation to Santa Fe.  We're looking forward to eating great food, drinking new beer and taking in all the sights of the city. Can't wait!  Until then...

~Mama Jess

To pacifier or not to pacifier

When Porter turned four weeks I started off using a pacifier.  Lactation consultants will warm against starting one too soon in fear of "nipple confusion" but say after four weeks babies should be able to tell the difference between the two.  I actually really like that he took one so easily.  I instantly felt better about taking my brand new baby out into public knowing I could buy myself some time before having to whip out the boobs.  I could just plug him up and make it home to nurse in the comfort of my own home.  What has transpired over the past few weeks is that I may have a thumb sucker on my hands.  Despite all my efforts to use a pacifier, Mr. P may be making up his own mind about using his hand/thumb for comfort instead of this rubble nipple.  

I'm torn: do I let him form habits of a pacifier and have the pain of washing, buying, losing, dropping, and keeping track of one at all times?  Or do I let him start/continue to sick his thumb and deal with germs, breaking habits and possible orthodontic problems in the future? Who knows.  For now, I'll continue to keep track of my many pacifiers and let him finds his hands when it pops out!